Warning, may contain spoilers.
The 2010 release of George A. Romero’s “The Crazies” is a remake of the 1973 version. It was directed by Breck Eisner and stars Timothy Olyphant, Radha Mitchell, and Danielle Panabaker. The story is about zombies people that mysteriously become infected with crazy. George A. Romero dumps a bucket of crazy on a small town in Iowa because nobody cares about Iowa and the rest of the country wouldn’t be able to notice that people in Iowa aren’t just acting normal.
Timothy Olyphant Holds It In
Timothy, (weird last name), Olyphant plays a sheriff and as an actor who mostly appears to be holding in an fart, he looks uncomfortable in every scene. While stroking his poor excuse for a mustache he almost immediately, after 45 minutes into the story, comes up with the conclusion that the water supply has been contaminated with crazy juice and is obviously the cause for the town folks acting odd; odd being defined as looking feverish and wanting to kill everybody. This isn’t your typical zombie movie as zombies are mostly classified as the living dead with erratic movements and a constant proclamation of how they want to consume brains. The “crazies”, as cleverly labeled in the title, are capable of concocting threats, handling high powered fire arms and are addicted to providing their victims with a false sense of safety by cleverly disappearing out of view just to end up staring them in the eye a few seconds later.
Bloody Pitchforks
The incredibly beautiful Radha Mitchell plays Olyphants wife/town doctor/pregnant woman/ I ran out stuff to put in between slashes. Portraying a caring and passionate doctor who cares and is passionate about the town she passionately cares for, Radha’s character immediately says “screw this noise” when a patient begins to scratch peoples backs by forcing a pitchfork through their abdomen. Even doctors have their breaking points. They can refuse care to individuals suffering from mass hysteria and wielding a bloody pitchfork.
One of the greatest nail biting scenes in The Crazies opens in a makeshift health care room where patients suffering from “crazy” are tied to hospital beds while a crazy person welding a pitchfork casually strolls through and decides to relieve them of their discomfort by impaling them. Radha’s character is strapped at the end of the line of beds and patiently awaits being stabbed while simultaneously giving birth because that’s how hardcore she is.
The movie, like pretty much every zombie movie that makes sense, ends with an explosion and re-contamination of an even bigger city.
Spoiler
Timothy Olyphant poops himself a little at the end. 
That movie sucked monkeyballs. Olyphant is a piece of ass tho, with of without the farting.
pretty good fuckin jokes i like this site
i just liked the fact that i live in a similar town and i could actually compare some of those people in the movie to people that i know. i live in a small town with a pop. of 10,00 or less. funny thing though rumor has it that the government was purposely leaking cancer causing liquids into our nearby ditches. another rumor was that the H1N1 virus Vaccinations they gave to me and my reservation, we would slowly die less than 30 years to erradicate Native American Population. By the way i am native american.